OK
There are not many places I feel normal. Most of the time I feel odd. Left out. Not part of the crowd, even if I am IN a crowd. But on the bike I feel normal. Usually I'm not in a crowd, it is usually alone. I (try to) clear my mind of thoughts. Easier to do when I'm riding off road. Just focus on the breathing. Just focus on the spinning. Where should I position my body? Find the flow. The rhythm. Move those legs old man. Push a little harder Grandpa. Come on. Show me what you got! That all you got? Push. Harder. Faster. More. When my muscles ache and lungs burn, that is when I feel most normal. Some days it is frustrating because even if I push I can't find that feeling. It is still good to ride make no mistake. But my brain gets frustrated. I want to feel OK. Even if it is only for a little while.