OK

There are not many places I feel normal.
Most of the time I feel odd. Left out.
Not part of the crowd, even if I am IN a crowd.

But on the bike I feel normal. Usually I'm not in a crowd, it is usually alone.
I (try to) clear my mind of thoughts. Easier to do when I'm riding off road.
Just focus on the breathing. Just focus on the spinning.
Where should I position my body? Find the flow. The rhythm.
Move those legs old man. Push a little harder Grandpa.
Come on. Show me what you got! That all you got?
Push.
Harder.
Faster.
More.

When my muscles ache and lungs burn, that is when I feel most normal.

Some days it is frustrating because even if I push I can't find that feeling.
It is still good to ride make no mistake. But my brain gets frustrated.

I want to feel OK. Even if it is only for a little while.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A lot has happened

 Hey there, been a while since I rapped atcha So... things have changed around here as of late Recently I lost my job. Not like, I misplaced it, but I was let go. Not gonna say more about it all than, it's been a change that I am very much still in the middle of.  Still, one foot before the other. Honestly, besides that, not much else has changed.  Call me a liar or an idiot. I won't deny the allegations.  Keep it rubber-side down out there.
Read more

A new year

Image
First, Happy New Year! I'm not much for resolutions. I'm more of a "steady and constant" change kind of person. That is the kind of change that sticks with me. Tweaking life, bit by bit. Writing this is difficult. Not because it is a hard subject but my thoughts and words have been elsewhere for a while. Regardless, here's a little something. Call them resolutions if you want. Call them my hopes. Plans. Dreams. Here's what I'm aiming for with 2015. Nine, Ten, Eleven and Twelve.  I am going to expand my volunteerism. More often. More places. Take V to Madison and Milwaukee. Ride at least one trail that I have never ridden before. Ride in a state I haven't ridden before. Hug more Love more That's enough. Time for some Nine. Hope you have an amazing 2015!
Read more

Superior

Image
This is long overdue, I realize but, you know, life. A couple quick thoughts post trip. 1 - This was considerably less wilderness-y than I had expected. Not that it was a bad thing but I had not expected latrines and nice campsites. I had expected people especially on the weekends. Though we only saw one other pair of long distance hikers during the entire trip. Everyone else was day hikers. 2 - I would do this again. I would like to try this same section again. Other parts of the SHT. I would like to try winter hiking up there. AND I want to try hiking other areas. This has awoken a new love for me. I love my bike and this won't replace it, but this was a lot of fun. The whole thing. It was hard work sometimes. But I learned alot. And I would like to push myself to do more and to do some harder stuff. I could see a trip out West to cover some of the Rockies for sure. The crew for the trip consisted of Jeff, Scott and myself. That’s it. A hearty trio! Anyway, enough of t...
Read more