Death

When I ride, I feel like I am surrounded by the dead.

I see them, rather feel them, everywhere around me.

Their ghosts hang around on the edges, where I ride.

That may seem morbid, but hear me out.

Daily on my rides I see dead animals. Their corpses bloated and covered with flies. Or squished into the pavement. Often covered in flies. I try not to breathe when I go past them. I also feel a little sad when I see them. Especially turtles for some reason.

Maybe it's because I think, they don't even have a chance to get out of the way. A raccoon or a bird at least has a shot of getting out of the way. But a turtle, not a prayer. Death's die has already been cast at that point and it is completely out of the turtle's control whether it lives or dies.

Besides the animals there are the white crosses. The little roadside memorials for someone who was loved (and still is loved) by someone else. When I see them, I am silent of mind and mouth. When I pass I always wonder who they were. What was their life like? How did they die?

This year, while on a ride I encountered my first live human standing next to a little while roadside cross I often pass. While climbing the hill I saw the vehicle pulled alongside the road, near the cross. As I got closer the woman looked and me and I looked at her. I gave her a small nod and I hope she felt the empathy and sadness I felt for her at that moment. She had been and probably still was crying when I went past. My heart went out to her. A few miles down the road I saw her vehicle pass me. I couldn't help but wonder how she was going to go on with her day.

At that moment, I wanted to give her a hug. I know, that sounds weird. Here's a person I don't know mourning over another person I don't know. But sadness works on wider and deeper levels than that.

And then comes the thoughts of my own death.

Those thoughts have many questions and there seem to be precious few answers. All I know is, at some point I will die, so I'd best enjoy the ride.

And with that in mind, excuse me while I go enjoy some more.

Be well out there.